Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Man, those lights sure are bright...

Chelsea handler is my idol: she's a brilliant writer; she's beautiful; and she says anything she damn well wants to! Read one of Handler's four New York Times Best selling books get some insight to this hilarious woman with a quick wit and a dirty mouth.

The only woman in a man's world with her own a late night TV show, Chelsea Lately, she also has my dream job.


When I started my Comedy Writing class in September, I knew going in that she was the type of comedian I wanted to be. Last night at Rumours Comedy Club, I had that opportunity. On stage, in front of 200 of my classmates and their closest family and friends, I preformed a 2 and a half minute routine in which I made anyone sitting next to a parent or teacher feel slightly uncomfortable.

Between the "Official Jets' STI," Beiber being a baby daddy (allegedly, of course) and men's facial expression at the point of orgasm, I got loads of laughs!

Comments from my classmates: "Haha, soooo funny! &"Whoa. you've got balls, girl!"

Yep. I think I'd make my idol proud!

Enjoy this clip from Chelsea in the beginning of her stand up career.



Another thing I love about Chelsea is how open she is about her love affair with vodka, she even called her second book Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea.

So of course this weeks' cocktail will be made with miss Handler in mind.

Lately on the Rocks
-3oz Belvedere Vodka (the primary sponsor of Chelsea's latest book tour)
-3 lemon wedges


In a glass full of ice, pour vodka and squeeze in the juice from lemon wedges. Let chill for a minute before enjoying! Here's to good times and bad decisions! ;)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

First Date Fun!

I've always thought the best first date to be mini-golfing: it's a great time and a great way to get to know someone. That is of course until a guy took me skeet-shooting for our first date...

Yep, skeet shooting. I'm not even kidding, even though at first, I thought he was.

He definitely got some points for originality and I was looking for any excuse to put off doing my homework, so I accepted his offer to take me to the firing range. After a quick stop to pick up coffee, donuts and ammunition, we were off to the country to enjoy a chilly autumn Sunday.

After a few misfires and some a few pointers from the firing range staff, who encouraged me to join the women's summer rifle club, I actually hit a target (are they called 'skeets'? I don't know!)

Turns out I'm pretty much the next Annie Oakley :).


Watch out, mini golf. I may just have a new favourite!

Jerry's Ammo
•2oz Sailor Jerry's Spiced Rhum
•2 oz Coke
•2 0z Gingerale
•Lime wedge

-Mix all ingredients into a glass filled with ice.
-Boom!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Getting older, not wiser.

How is it that the reminder of getting older somehow makes me act more childish? I party like I'm 21, eat like I'm 13, and have grandiose notions about the whole event like a 16 year old teenager brainwashed by romantic comedies.

Surely this behavior is followed by: debilitating hangovers, tummy aches and disappointment. Will I ever learn my lesson?

Here's a delicious creamy martini that tastes just like birthday cake! Yummmmm!!

Piece of Cake
•1.5 oz Vanilla Vodka (Stoli if you can)
•.5 oz Amaretto
•1 oz 2% milk (half & half cream if you're feeling skinny)
•Lemon zest

-Shake all ingredients together in a shaker full of ice, strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a birthday candle and some great friends!!

Here's to getting older but never growing up!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Case of the Mondays...



It may be the gloomy, chilly wheather, the full moon, or the heaps of homework stealing any remaining back to school novelty, but I have got a serious case of the Mondays....

How quickly the excitement of back to school can turn into reality: late nights at school; neverending 'to-do' lists; no sleep, money, time or social life.

Oh well, at least I get to wear my favorite scarves and boots again. Hardly seems like any consolation.
Temperatures are dropping, so heat things up with a spicy Caesar! Anything that doubles as a cocktail and a meal works for all us starving students out there

This fantastic Canadian cocktail can be made with various spices and garnishes, but my this recipe is the best I've tried thanks to the secret ingredient:

•Use Montreal steak spice instead of celery salt to rim the glass!

G's Ceasar
1 tbsp olive juice
1 tbsp pickle juice
2 oz vodka
2 squirts worcheshire
2 squirts tobasco
Clamato juice

-Mix all ingredients in a Montreal steak spice rimmed glass full of ice. Stir. Garnish with a mini pickle and mini olive.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Am I Funny??

I have always believed that I am a funny individual. This week I had my first Comedy Writing class, a second year elective in the Creative Communications program, and was shown the harsh reality that being funny ain't easy, and maybe I am not nearly as hilarious as I think I am. We were assigned a joke journal, in the form of a daily tweet, and all of a sudden, I became very afraid. Tweet something funny once a day? The concept seemed impossible! Until I went to work at my serving job that night. The place is a goldmine for questionable social behavior and idiotic questions ('do you make your mojitos with mint here?")

If you are on twitter, be sure to follow me @RachelleLTaylor and get out the #jokejournal hashtag to see my progress... Unless I've served you, then it's probably best not to.

And just to clarify, mojitos are always made with mint!

Classic Mojito
•4 lime wedges
•5-7 mint leaves
•Simple syrup (substitute white sugar if you don't have)
•Amber rum (Flor de Cana or Ron Zacapa are my favourites)
•Soda water

Muddle the mint, sugar and lime wedges until the mint is nice and smooshed, add ice, rum and top with soda. Stir and enjoy...


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sky High Cocktails


Friends, cocktails and stunning views of a majestic city came together to create a truly incredible experience in Toronto. The holiday was much needed after what has turned out to be a cruel, cruel summer spent working way too much.


It was my final "hoorah" before it's back to class and I made sure to enjoy every last minute of my summer vacation with some delicious cocktails of course: Italian wine and lost memories savoured with an ex-lover over pizza and pasta in Little Italy; berry margaritas and mojitos at a sunny happy hour in the Financial District with my bestie; kiwi caipirinhas and spiked lemonades sipped poolside on the rooftop of the city's trendiest hotel. And, of course, a slew of cocktails were consumed whilst enjoying the city's nightlife at patios and bars all around town (thanks to the Zip-Zang-Zing! Theory)



The highlight of the trip was the pairing of Procecco, room service, and chick flicks in a king sized bed with my two favourite ladies; it was a grown up slumber party full of teenage-girl giggles!

The weekend of over-indulgence ended with a gastronomic sky-high treat: a three course lunch in the restaurant at the top of the CN tower! Breathtaking views, incredible company and mojitos (made with real sugar cane and with vodka substituted for rum) made it a perfect send-off after an incredible vacation.



Back to school, routine and reality today... Cheers to that!

Kiwi Caipirinha
- 2 oz cachaca*
- 4 lime wedges
-Super-fine sugar
- 1/4 of a ripe kiwi, diced
-Soda water

•In a shaker, muddle the limes, kiwi and sugar, add cachaca and ice. Shake it up real good! Empty the shakers' contents into a rocks glass, top with fresh ice and soda. Garnish with kiwi slice.


*Cachaca is a Brazilian liquor that has a similar flavour to tequila and is available at most liquor stores

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I'm A Slave 4 U


This weekend, I had the rare opportunity (as a person working in the hospitality industry) to enjoy a long weekend at the lake, or at least part thereof. It was fantastic. Up until my white Black Berry was accidentally run over. For those who know me well, this is no surprise. Stuff like this always happens to me.

While mourning the loss of my "white berry" that I had become so attached to over the years, I have been living sans-phone. Although extremely frustrating for the first 36 hours, I have now have grown a liking to being out of touch.

Here are my top reasons for loving life without a smart phone (only for the moment, of course!)

The Art of Conversation: Remember the good ol' days before lol, wtf, and bff?? When you actually had to make a phone call (and know their number) to find out how someone was doing and to make plans?? With no smart phone facilitating communication through text and fb, I am learning numbers by heart, making phone calls, and in a 5 minute conversation, actually getting caught up with someone rather than hours of back and fourth messaging.

No constant checking of your phone or ghost-rings: You swear you just felt your phone vibrate, when in fact no messages are waiting for you once you finally dig your phone from the depths of your bag. No phone=no disappointment.

No texting those you shouldn't be: After seeing an Icon preform songs that bring you back to a more promiscuous time, temptation to send an "innocent" text to an ex arises. Without your precious phone harbouring his number at bay, contact becomes impossible. It's a God-send, really.

-Getting lost in a good book: With no "be-beep"s breaking your concentration, you'd be surprised how easy it is to get caught up in a great book. Since the incident, I have finished two AMAZING books: Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me (Chelsea Handler) & Bossy Pants (Tina Fey.) I definitely recommend turning your smart phone off for an afternoon and sink your teeth into either of these book by incredibly hilarious women.



-Lastly, you're FREE!! I am sorry to my friends that I am a hard person to get a hold of at the moment. But, I cannot be tracked down, and once I am out, I am over and out! There is something so freeing about knowing that no one can get a hold of you. It feels like a simpler time. That being said, it may prove difficult to make plans or find each other when we get separated at a busy bar. But, when you are with me you will have my full and undivided attention. Without being a slave for technology, I am all yours!


Blackberry, I am A Slave to you no more!!

Of course, without the distraction of a smart phone, I need to keep things interesting. That's where cocktails come in. Give this killer white sangria recipe a try and shake things up a bit. Even if you aren't going to get rid of that damned smart phone!


Triple B Sangria (Makes 1 Pitcher)

•1 Bottle fruity white wine (Pinot Grigio or Riesling)
•2 cups white cranberry juice (regular, peach, or strawberry)
•Juice from 1 lime
•1 cup of fruit: Strawberries, peaches, and/or blueberries (fresh or frozen)

Combine all liquids into a pitcher half full with ice and stir. Pour servings into wine glasses with ice and add fruit. Cheers to summer time!!