Thursday, September 23, 2010

Tongue Tied

After years of working in a busy lounge as a server, one becomes quite good at talking to people. Men are 80% of our clientele, I have gotten quite good at chatting up the men I am serving. Sometimes I feel as though my work personality is an alter-ego, this funny, flirty, sharp woman who can come up with witty one-liners and a comeback for almost anything. All of this goes out the window, of course, when I am serving a man that I find myself attracted to, even if I have no intentions of picking him up or hitting on him at all, I can barely say anything that makes sense, let alone anything clever. Working in a bar could actually be a great place to meet men... if only I could talk to them! I become this blubblering, non-sensical fool, and I always walk away from the table shaking my head and asking myself "wHaT did you just say?!". I once found myself in a conversation with a man about drunken-vomiting stories, a subject that is neither interesting or appealing, nor does it give me a chance to make any smart remarks, and not to mention is gross, but I kept blah-blah-blahing and just sounding like the biggest idiot!

This past weekend, at work, I ran into an old crush who was in town on business. He was trying to get me to serve his table, I declined and let another girl serve him and his colleagues instead. They would have been an awesome table: all suits, from out of town, already half-cut from their dinner, paying on a corporate card, pretty ideal. I would also get to spend more time with him if I was serving his table, I knew that if I served them, that I would not be putting my best foot forward, as he is dashingly handsome and I knew I had to keep my distance if I was going to stand a chance of making a good impression! He seemed disappointed that I wasn't, if only he knew it was for his own good!!

If only I could have one of these while I was working, maybe I could be funny and witty with the hotties:

Liquid Courage

-1oz tequila

-lime wedge (optional)


  1. My theory: hot people are used to be flirted with all the time. Give them the opposite for once in their miserably happy lives. Ha, ha!

  2. I've wondered what would constitute the "perfect table" for a server, and that does sound like it could be it!